TJ Grocery List
- Bag of Frozen Chicken Breast Tenders
- Jalapenos
- Oil&Herb Marinated Mozzarella
- Basil
- Fresh- Whole Wheat Tandorri Bread
- Tomato
- Marinara Sauce (has less sodium than their pizza sauce…plus you can use the rest for pasta later.)
What Do I do Now?
- Defrost 3 pieces of chicken in a warm bowl of water.
- While this is getting un-rigid, Grab a cutting board and start dicing some cheese. Keep it light, like 3 small quarter-sized chunks.
- Also, cut 1/8th inch tomato slices. For those of you who are measurementally inclined, that would be like half of your fingernail…though I have circus man sized hands, so who knows.
- Chop a little basil.
- Grab a slab of Tandori bread (do you think the Indians would be upset if they knew we were abusing their bread to make pizza?) and spoon out a few dollops (that one’s for you mom) of sauce.
- Set your toaster oven to like 350.
- Dress your pizza with cheese first, then tomatoes and jalapenos.
- Pop in the oven.
- Toss thawed chicken in the pan and season with salt and pepper (keep it light on the salt). 3 minutes each side.
- Take out your pizza, “chop-the-chicken” [
… no? ok.] and add your basil. - Grab a root beer and call it a day.
You’re not a fatty because…
So, now you’ve got this nice healthy lunch. Yes, there are carbs in this meal, but they are carbs with a purpose. These bad boys are whole wheat and contribute to that giant “whole grains” category at the bottom of the pyramid. BTW, how out dated is that diagram by now? I mean, there’s not even a section for “5 Hour Energy.” The Tomatoes sauce is light on the sodium and the tomatoes are always a good source of vitamin A, which helps your eyes adjust to light and dark…ya it’s important, how else could you manage to come out of the bar at 10am and find the closest hot dog cart?
Toppings are what usually kill a pizza. You’ve opted for a healthy sauce to cheese ratio and swapped out the fat-packing pepperoni for some lean, high protein chicken. I know right, I’m proud of you to.
Personal Adjustments
Super Hero- Make two. You don’t gain weight because flying actually burns 3 times as many calories as jogging. I think it has something to do with quantum mechanics.
Active Dude- Double up on the chicken if you’re trying to stay extremo-lean.
Dude- eat as is.
Femme- If you’re really worried about the carbs toss it all inside a whole wheat pita and sandwhich it between two frying pans for a calzone-esque substitute.
Lazy Susans (and Larrys)- Actually, eat the pizza, it will give you the energy required to kick yourself in the ass.
Extreme Babe- you just keep doing what you’re doing.
